Better Anger through Better Health!

By: Daryl

Friends, enemies, family, acquaintances, people I stalk, let me tell you something: Being Angry Daryl takes energy, especially the angry part. The gritting of teeth, the throbbing of neck and forehead veins, the angry rants, the vigorous typing, those all take energy. As we all know, better health leads to more energy, which leads to INCREASED ABILITY TO BRING THE ANGRY!!! Plus, my pants might fit better, so that's nice...

As some of you may have seen on my FaceBorg page, I have been stocking up on fruits and veggies, purchased a juicer, and have been gulping some uber-healthy fruit/veggies mixes. "Why, Daryl? Why are you doing such things?" you might be asking, if you gave a fuck about me, which you all do, because you love me, AND FEAR ME!

Ahem.

Anyhow, a few weeks ago, I was staying up too late on a school night, and watched the movie "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead." It's focusses on three regular people who take charge of their lives and health, and decide to give their bodies the proper nourishment we often lack due to the fast-food, shovel crap into your mouth type of culture we live in. Now, was I fat, sick, or nearly dead? No. But, I wasn't eating healthy or taking very good care of myself. I was eating too much, not getting nearly enough unprocessed fruits and veggies, and not getting any exercise. Changes needed to be made. Take a look at the trailer for the movie.

Back in December, I started going to a gym, using the treadmill and weights to get some of the "jiggle" out of my body. I liked to think I carried my weight well, but the truth is, I had gone soft, was getting a gut, and I am turning 40 in May. Fighting the battle of the bulge doesn't get any easier as you get older. I had no excuse other than my own laziness for not using the gym. It was free, it was 75 yards from my office, and it had everything I needed. So I started going 3 times a week, and it's helped quite a bit. Now, I can lift battleships. Ok, that's an exaggeration, but I do feel better, look better, and jiggle much less. Plus, it was an excuse to get a snazzy new pair of walking/running exercisey shoes.

Dead sexy legs! And yes, that's the shower in front of me. 

And now, back to the juicing. The "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" movie advocates adding natural blends of fruits and veggie juices to your diet as a way of getting the plant nutrients we need to be really healthy. The human body is designed to run on unprocessed/minimally processed plants and minimally processed meat. Modern food culture gives us way too much processed crap that is severely lacking in nutrients, but you knew that, didn't you? Just nod even if you are shocked by this statement. So, purchased a Breville Juicer, and a small truckload of fruits and veggies....

Boom.

Praise Cthulhu, that's a lot of fruits and veggies! Takes up 80% of the fridge!

Good god. Yet more fruit.

And now, the end product of juicing together 8 kale leaves, 8 swiss chard leaves, 1 cucumber, and 6 tangerines, you get The Green Elixir!

Behold! The power of the Sun! Yes, it tasted really green!

So this weekend, I am going to be adding a lot of juice to my diet, and seeing where this leads me. Probably to the bathroom, if Ted is to be believed, but what the hell does he know? Quite a lot, actually. In any event, I look forward to trying the recipe's from the Reboot website (nutritional guidance for those looking to do what the people in the Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead movie did).

So here's to better anger through better health! 

Guest post: Angry Breanne is Angry at the TV!

By: Breanne

The Idiot Box

Greetings, all of Daryl’s fellow rage-a-holics! If you’re lucky enough to know me, you know that I speak very openly and crassly about my one-sided battle with depression. If you’re just meeting me for the first time, well, let me tell you – I speak very openly and crassly about my one-sided battle with depression (I say one-sided because I watch from the couch as it slowly takes over my life). But I know I’m not alone. Many people experience depression, a large majority being mothers, particularly first-time mothers. And do you know who is staying home with the children during the day? The mothers; especially first-time mothers. And do you know what they’re watching? The Doctors, and a variety of other daytime talk shows, soap operas, and news programs. I don’t know what depression is like for other people, but the topics I happened to run across on one such day of being a stay-at-home mom are of no help to anybody.

Growing up, I was only generally aware of the Today Show, just thinking it was perpetually on one channel. Now that I’m an adult, I know that it’s only a measly 5 hours, and I’m routinely up before it starts at 7am. I appreciate how they promote the crap out of the segments they have coming up, like they’re Uncle Leo with a death grip on your arm for fear you’d walk away. So, thanks to these hyper-ads I was routinely teased with a man who received multiple transplants – high risk, one-in-a-million of course – and was going to meet the donor family for the very first time. Are you fucking kidding me?! Not only am I depressed, I’m also slightly groggy and a little pissed that I’m not still in bed. So, for the next 4 hours I’m reduced to tears because it just happens to be the moment I walk into the living room that I get to hear about it….again. So I cheated on Today and flipped over to Good Morning America.

Here we have the black woman who documented her battle with cancer much like – but much less gross – Katie Couric’s tour of her colon (I’m not racist, I just don’t remember her name and I’m too lazy to look it up. If you want to know so badly, you do it. Let me know what you find out). The woman next to her starts a story about a woman who decided to give birth in an art museum. Um, sure. People have weddings there, so why the heck not? And people would be able to watch, i.e. performance art. Um, I’m sorry, what?! I changed the channel just as they said, “This material is not suitable for all viewers.” I love a good birth story, as long as there aren’t cameras and a price of admissions involved. Furthermore, who watches this kind of thing?! People spout, “Oh, childbirth is a beautiful thing!” No, it’s not. It’s fucking gross and involves vomit, blood, mucous, drool, human tissue, and poop. Yes poop! Next you’ll tell me taking a dump is beautiful. But I digress…..So there I was, changing the channel….

Remember Steve Wilkos circa Jerry Springer when it was so conveniently on right when we got home from school? He was the one who burst every balloon in the audience by breaking up the stripping fights when a really gross person started fighting with an even grosser person. Now he has his own show which is a step above Jerry, but below Maury and in my haste to avoid the desecration of an art museum, I accidentally landed on Steve and his Shocking Molestation Accusations. Now this just made me sick.

I managed to make it through the rest of my daytime schedule relatively unscathed. I love The Talk, and I find Anderson Cooper to be just creepy enough that he’s entertaining. My baby usually takes a nap around then and I decide it’s a good time for me too. We get up around 3pm, just in time for Dr. Phil, which I never pollute my ears with. In all honesty, I just really can’t stand his accent, but his channel is still one from before we went to sleep.
I wasn’t really watching because they were showing those explanatory, reenactment videos so I checked the information guide. On this very special episode, Dr. Phil was berating parents who are believed to be inflicting too harsh of punishments on their children, presumably an idea sprung from the video of the Judge whipping his daughter. Among them being…..wait for it…..gluing their children’s hands (to what it didn’t say), and forcing a child to kill a pet. Yes, you read that right. Even re-writing it now is making my heart pound and my hands start to shake.

After that, the rest of my day sort-of went downhill. I don’t blame it on TV, but is there no part of a producer’s mind that might consider this would BOTHER people?! Specifically considering said producer probably has her own standing prescription of Zoloft. People think they’re being cutting edge, ground-breaking journalism, bladdy, blah, blah. Fine, but why put it on daytime television when mothers are home alone and have easy access to kitchen knives? Better yet – these children these shows claim to be looking out for aren’t; in case you missed the memo, children are awake during the day and will probably offer a glance or two at the television. Yes, it’s my responsibility to make sure she isn’t watching anything she isn’t supposed to, but, come on, work with me here, since you’re supposed to be rated G. Or E….whatever.

Now here it is in the evening and we’re watching a documentary on banjoes on PBS. You can still be informed without learning every gruesome detail; and sometimes ignorance really is bliss.