Metrognome:Falcotronik vs Too Short "Blow My Whistle (Clorpt Krunk Remix)

Metrognome:Falcotronik vs Too Short "Blow My Whistle (Clorpt Krunk Remix)

This song rocks!

Egypt in upheaval!

CATCH SNOWFLAKES! I COMMAND IT!!!!!!!

Airbags gone wild...

Fun fact about airbags:

According to this graphic, upon detonation, the airbag will immediately aim for the ceiling, face, and crotch.

4 way stop? What's a 4 way stop?

Due to last nights storm, most of the traffic lights are out in Fairfax County. For anyone who took drivers ed, this means all intersections default to 4 way stop rules.

You remember those rules, don't you?

Here's a refresher:

TAKE TURNS, YOU DUMB BASTARDS!

Of course in northern Virginia, it just means that the clueless moron drivers now rule the road even more than when the traffic lights are on.

I'll be in my bunker if you need anything.

--Daryl

Turn up the suck!

Oh yeah.....just press play on the decks and pretend like you're mixing. Must be rough cashing those checks.

Coxcast? Shifty pricing practices and email "marketing"

By: Daryl "Email Marketing Guru for Really Reals" Northrop

My Cox cable price-lock is coming to an end. Oh dear. Dear oh dear. *Wrings hands* *Clutches Pearls* *Hyperventilates* *Wets self*

Luckily, the marketing pooptards at Cox have informed me of this! I clicked on their at, resplendent with chirpy, techy-looking, female eye-candy with smarty-glasses, and was presented with this fecal-oriented page:

Dear Cox: Just because I live in Fairfax County, don't assume I have, you know, "money."

Look closely now.....Where is the price? It's like a game show! "Click for the mystery price, or win a elderly goat!"

Well, I guess the value proposition here is this is a good demonstration on how NOT to do email marketing.

Dear Northern Virginia drivers....

By: Daryl "Just run in to me, I like it. Yeah, do it harder baby" Northrop

Hello reader(s). This morning, for the SECOND TIME IN ONE WEEK, some mentally inert waste of oxygen spaced off at a stop light and rolled backwards into my front bumper. Good. Fucking. Times.

Luckily, an artist was present at each incident and was able to do a quick sketch of me:

Notice that when I am angry, my ears vanish. Weird, right?

Why? Why does this happen? How distracted/mentally deficient do you have to be in order to forget to keep you damn foot on the damn brake????

POP QUIZ: Identify the brake pedal in this mysterious jumble of automotive gadgetry:

Hint - it's NOT the skinny pedal.

And I end up asking myself "Why are Northern Virginia drivers so damn bad at driving?" Then, after nearly 20 seconds of Google-sleuthing, I found this!

AH HA!

Notice the left hand turn from the right hand lane maneuver on the cover. This is a Northern Virginia classic! I see this every single day. You're just not driving correctly unless you suspend every goddamned ounce of self awareness you have and just drive wherever the fuck you want. Bonus point if you are just plain suicidal.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go try to scrub the invisible fucking bullseye off the bumper of my super-tough Prius.