Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Phone hell, part 9,443,877

By: Daryl

I'd like a time machine so I can kick Alexander Graham Bell right in the nads.

"Watson! Come here, I just got kicked in the junk by some very handsome man from the future!"

Yesterday and today I wanted to use my Cellular Radiophone to send "Text Message" to the ever-scintillating April. It was something really important like "Gimme a dollar" or "Did you smell that?" or "Is it Tuesday?" In any event, when I send a "Text Message" I expect it to travel through the ether, carried by the invisible telephone-gnomes of the Verizon Wireless Amazeballs Network of Speedfulness, and reassembled by the teeny little carpenter penguins that live in April's phone, so that she may read my missives of deep, and profound import.

Naturally, that did not happen. Apparently my phone now needs to be periodically turned off and then turned back on again to get the messages ejaculated into the ether. Glad Android is now starting to behave like every Microsoft PC operating system since Win95.

Looking forward to a healthy tan from basking in the rage.......


  1. Verizon's gnomes as of late have been slacking for everyone, not just you and the lovely missus.

    I'm drop kicking Android to the curb April 23rd. If my choices for the phone OS is buggy & brain-damaged (Verizon), more buggy (Cyanogen), and super-buggy (all other ROMs), I'll willingly embrace the Apple Borg. What about jailbreaking the iPhone is any different or worse than what I have been doing? At least the broke iPhones work!

  2. Siri -- please send Daryl a clue. (iPhone 4S FTWFTWFTWFTW!!!)

  3. I found your problem: Android.

  4. Hmmmmm....apparently I need one of the eye-phone verizon thingies?