As 2011 comes to a close, it's been a great year at Angry Daryl Is Angry. Ted and I have....
::::BOOM OF A SHOTGUN BLAST::::
Oh Sweet White Baby Jesus in the Manger, how I LOATHE year-end retrospectives. I don't care where they come from: political campaigns, issue campaigns, websites, blogs, Jesus, Mohammed, Moses, Thor, Cthulhu, your mom, - I hate them.
They suck. Hard.
"But why, Angry Daryl? Why do they suck so hard? They make me feel so warm, and cozy, and sleepy, like a sleep over at Michael Jackson's house!"
Well, let me tell you. They suck because year end retrospectives are just a clever way of saying "WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NEW TO PRESENT TO YOU SO WE ARE GOING TO RECYCLE SOME OLD POOP AND PRESENT IT AS FRESH, STEAMING HOT NEW POOP. AREN'T YOU GLAD WE DID THAT IN YOUR MOUTH???"
And, just to cover all my bases, I'm not going to send out a breezy, sleazy, chirpy, slurpy "Look at all the shiny things we will do in your pants in 2012" email, either.
Why? BECAUSE THEY SUCK, TOO. And, it may also have to do with the fact that I have no idea what I will present to you in 2012. So there.
Good day, fuckers.
THIS YEAR DARYL AND I YELLED ON THE INTERNET.
ReplyDeleteDARYL DID MOST OF THE YELLING.
HE IS MUCH OLDER AND HAS THEREFORE BEEN EXPOSED TO MORE THINGS IN LIFE WITH WHICH HE IS ANGRY ABOUT.
FUCKERS.
I HAVE LOTS OF ANGER.
ReplyDeleteTED IS VERY CORRECT IN THAT STATEMENT. MY THERAPIST AND PAROLE OFFICER ALSO AGREE.
I'M SURE IF I UNGAGGED THE PEOPLE IN MY BASEMENT THEY WOULD AGREE ALSO.
TED, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TOUR MY BASEMENT SOME TIME?
I've seen "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". I know what goes on in that basement, VHS camcorder and all.
ReplyDeleteRooney Mara makes your dirty parts tingle, doesn't she?
ReplyDelete