Good news to all the Fatty McFatterson's out there

By: Daryl

Get excited in your pants for horrible, fat-drenched food, delivered directly to your house, practically RIGHT INTO YOUR FAT PIE-HOLE. Because, we just didn't have far too many options for this already.

I am getting fatter just writing this blog-post, and you're chunking up alarmingly as you read it.

We received this little love-note in our mailbox last week.

Apparently, Burger King, in a move to get more Americans to self-inflict obesity, heart disease, and diabetes on themselves, will deliver their alleged food-like products straight to your door. The door to your lazy, stained-with-shame, house. Why? Because you just ordered Burger King, which is bad enough, but were too damned lazy to walk (wtf is that?), ride a bike (again, wtf is that?), take a taxi (now we're talking), or drive in your large, American-made automobile (HELL YEAH!)  in an effort to get your bag of greasy death.

So dial away, porkie! A bloated death can now be brought to your door.

Salesforce + Firefox + Windows XP = Fuck me? No! Fuck you!

I have a cube job. Aren't all you people jealous out the ass? Sure you are.

In my aforementioned cube job, I have to use Salesforce to do a significant part of my job. For those who do not know what Salesforce is, it's a contact, sales, lead tracking, case managing monolithic, black-hole, borg of a program.

So there I am, cube jobbing away happily and start to use Salesforce through Firefox on my windows box at work. Then, the lock ups begin. The browser locks when I try to attach a file to an email. The computer locks when I try to convert an MS Word doc to a PDF. My heart locks up as rage-hormones flood in telling me to murder everyone in a 30 mile radius.

This futtbuckery continues for another hour and half as I vainly try to do, you know, 'work.' It's at this point that I give up, put in my earbuds, and crank up KMFDM until I don't care any more.

Nothing like a cascade of technical failures to turn an afternoon into a swamp of rage-soaked swamp of inefficiency.