Get excited in your pants for horrible, fat-drenched food, delivered directly to your house, practically RIGHT INTO YOUR FAT PIE-HOLE. Because, we just didn't have far too many options for this already.
I am getting fatter just writing this blog-post, and you're chunking up alarmingly as you read it.
We received this little love-note in our mailbox last week.
Apparently, Burger King, in a move to get more Americans to self-inflict obesity, heart disease, and diabetes on themselves, will deliver their alleged food-like products straight to your door. The door to your lazy, stained-with-shame, house. Why? Because you just ordered Burger King, which is bad enough, but were too damned lazy to walk (wtf is that?), ride a bike (again, wtf is that?), take a taxi (now we're talking), or drive in your large, American-made automobile (HELL YEAH!) in an effort to get your bag of greasy death.
So dial away, porkie! A bloated death can now be brought to your door.
If they delivered in DC I'd literally never have to leave the house again.
ReplyDelete