Door math. Or, 1+1=1. Or, 2=1. Or, Daryl = Full of Rage

By: Daryl

Hello reader(s)! Fun fact, the double door was invented in 1645 by Thermopoly F. Doubledoor of Manchester, England. He realized the simple fact that if one door as an entrance/exit to a building was good, then TWO would be better. Two, not one, but TWO streams of people could enter and exit a building at the same time.

Mind. Blown.

Here's a fun picture of this amazing invention, using space age steel and glass.





There is only one teensy-smeensy-bleensy-queensy-fleentzy little cock-crushing problem.
IF ONE OF THE DOORS IS KEPT LOCKED IT DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF HAVING DOUBLE DOORS FOR THE LOVE OF [DEITY, OR NOT, WHATEVER]!!!!!


This happens with startling regularity at: Starbucks, Starbucks, and there's this coffee place that serves coffee called Starbucks.

Why? Why is only one of the two doors unlocked? Am I on camera lurching to a stop against the unexpectedly locked door? Do sadists work there who secretly wish hot coffee spilled on people?

The world may never know. However, if you hear of a rash of doors being crushed and destroyed by some masked, anger-soaked, vengeful living god of destruction (pssssst! That's me! Don't tell!), now you know why.