Upcoming posts will feature such turgid topics as:
1. Reshuffling the deck: Maybe we'll magically get more than 52 cards this time!
2. How to be a Super Star DJ. (Translation: Super Star DJ's almost always suck, and I'll tell you why, and I'll give you the tools to fix this problem, you lazy fucks)
Kindly sit on the edge of your seats in anticipation.