Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The answer is: RAGE.

By: Daryl

Hi!

Do you speak the english language at a fluent and or native level? Me too! Let us speak english to each other, and use it as a medium to encode data from our brains, ejaculating it from our mouths, send it vibrating (boing!) through the air, thrusting into our earholes, stimulating our auditory nerves, and penetrating deeply into the eager recesses of each others slutty minds.


HOT! RAWR! I NEED A CIGARETTE AND SOME PILLOW TALK AND SOME SNUGGLING AND A MORNING AFTER PILL.

However, if you insist on doing any or all of the following, and I will mentally dismember you in a most gruesome fashion:

Unnecessarily word conservation. Words are not albino rhino's. They are not endangered and in need of conservation. The word population is unlimited. Please feel free to use enough to adequately express your idea. Avoid sentences such as "Hey, did you see that thing over there by the thing?" or "Grapefruit?" or "She's pretty" (referring to a room full of "women" - WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???) or Random Subject Changes (RSC's) such as "I really love fish tacos, but what I really wonder is, do submarines smell like a mix of feet and repressed homosexual urges?" Or, the question that never congeals into a coherent query "Hey, do you?....how do you?.....when you do this should?....." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! GET TO THE ACTUAL QUESTION OR I'LL CHOKE YOU TO DEATH WITH A MAD-LIBS BOOK!


So remember, fellow cunning-linguists (see what I did there?): Subject + verb + predicate = Linguistic nirvana. It is the greatest form of love to think about your question for 2 seconds versus verbally machine-gunning your fellow man with a stream of nonsense that is gosh darn crystal-clear up until the moment it leaves your pretty, pretty mouth.


My promise to you: I will respect you in the morning, unless you're a whore, or Ted.

2 comments:

  1. I can't tell if the excessive errors in this post are intentional or ironic.

    ReplyDelete