Outrage of the day: Shitty DJ's and SuperStar DJ's who are actually just Shitty DJ's on a big stage

By: Daryl

Just to be clear, by DJ,  I do not mean "on air voice personality that speaks in nothing but cliche's." I mean someone who mixes songs together with the intent of achieving a purpose: a lively dancefloor, evoking a mood, supporting rappers on stage, etc.

Shitty DJ's make me fucking crazy in the head, so do superstar Shitty DJ's.

First, some definitions. Below, courtesy of Ted "I gotta YouBoob clip for that" Severson, is a shitty DJ. He's a wedding DJ who wears sneakers, and likes to keep time with the music by....well, just watch the clip. Not Really Safe For Work, fyi. Do you even have a job???

Well, that was horrifying, wasn't it? I have to go gouge my eyes out with a shovel, soaked in lemon juice, covered in cobra venom. That's better..........

Below, we have Tiesto, who is a SuperStar Shitty DJ. His music (and may of his ilk) is characterized by the same beat for 90 minutes that neither gets faster or slower, songs that have nothing but shimmery synth sounds sprinked with vapid female vocals, with the same beat (thumpthumpthumpthumpthump), and are usually coupled with an AMAZING light show to give you some distraction to the boredom being generated behind the turntables. (Insider tip, most do not use turntables and vinyl - they use mp3 files and controllers).

So, start the caffeine drip, and check out this craptacular DJ.

An example of a DJ with amazing skill, and music taste is Z-Trip, a party-style DJ. Check out the different styles of music, actual turntable use, and some unexpected twists.

Also at the level of Z-Trip is MixMaster Mike. He is an incredible DJ (hip-hop, turntablist, scratch) in his own right, and is also the DJ for the Beastie Boys.

And lastly, we have DJ? Acucrack (producer, dancefloor). Sorry for the mediocre sound quality, it's the best I could find.

And if you are still reading by this point, why don't you check out a little mix I've done for a friends brunch. It's a bit rough, but it has potential. You can listen or download here.

Say, would you like to be a Shitty DJ or a Shitty SuperStar DJ, or maybe an actual DJ that is fun to listen to? You can download a free mixing program here. No controller hardware required, just music files, and you own imagination. Just try not to suck, ok?