Better Anger through Better Health!

By: Daryl

Friends, enemies, family, acquaintances, people I stalk, let me tell you something: Being Angry Daryl takes energy, especially the angry part. The gritting of teeth, the throbbing of neck and forehead veins, the angry rants, the vigorous typing, those all take energy. As we all know, better health leads to more energy, which leads to INCREASED ABILITY TO BRING THE ANGRY!!! Plus, my pants might fit better, so that's nice...

As some of you may have seen on my FaceBorg page, I have been stocking up on fruits and veggies, purchased a juicer, and have been gulping some uber-healthy fruit/veggies mixes. "Why, Daryl? Why are you doing such things?" you might be asking, if you gave a fuck about me, which you all do, because you love me, AND FEAR ME!

Ahem.

Anyhow, a few weeks ago, I was staying up too late on a school night, and watched the movie "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead." It's focusses on three regular people who take charge of their lives and health, and decide to give their bodies the proper nourishment we often lack due to the fast-food, shovel crap into your mouth type of culture we live in. Now, was I fat, sick, or nearly dead? No. But, I wasn't eating healthy or taking very good care of myself. I was eating too much, not getting nearly enough unprocessed fruits and veggies, and not getting any exercise. Changes needed to be made. Take a look at the trailer for the movie.

Back in December, I started going to a gym, using the treadmill and weights to get some of the "jiggle" out of my body. I liked to think I carried my weight well, but the truth is, I had gone soft, was getting a gut, and I am turning 40 in May. Fighting the battle of the bulge doesn't get any easier as you get older. I had no excuse other than my own laziness for not using the gym. It was free, it was 75 yards from my office, and it had everything I needed. So I started going 3 times a week, and it's helped quite a bit. Now, I can lift battleships. Ok, that's an exaggeration, but I do feel better, look better, and jiggle much less. Plus, it was an excuse to get a snazzy new pair of walking/running exercisey shoes.

Dead sexy legs! And yes, that's the shower in front of me. 

And now, back to the juicing. The "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" movie advocates adding natural blends of fruits and veggie juices to your diet as a way of getting the plant nutrients we need to be really healthy. The human body is designed to run on unprocessed/minimally processed plants and minimally processed meat. Modern food culture gives us way too much processed crap that is severely lacking in nutrients, but you knew that, didn't you? Just nod even if you are shocked by this statement. So, purchased a Breville Juicer, and a small truckload of fruits and veggies....

Boom.

Praise Cthulhu, that's a lot of fruits and veggies! Takes up 80% of the fridge!

Good god. Yet more fruit.

And now, the end product of juicing together 8 kale leaves, 8 swiss chard leaves, 1 cucumber, and 6 tangerines, you get The Green Elixir!

Behold! The power of the Sun! Yes, it tasted really green!

So this weekend, I am going to be adding a lot of juice to my diet, and seeing where this leads me. Probably to the bathroom, if Ted is to be believed, but what the hell does he know? Quite a lot, actually. In any event, I look forward to trying the recipe's from the Reboot website (nutritional guidance for those looking to do what the people in the Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead movie did).

So here's to better anger through better health! 

Outrage of the decades: The Telephone

By: Daryl

Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. Also, he invented Graham crackers, and Bell-bottom jeans. Of course, Horation Q. Bottom disputes Grahams assertion regarding the jeans.....

(Ok, not really a pure phone picture, but this is what it feels like sometimes)

My job career has been, well, "diverse." This means I have had a lot of different jobs that have all been about as satisfying as a kick in the junk. 

I have been at one time or another: An assistant manager at a pizza restaurant, a telephone customer service rep for a magazine subscription company, a rental-counter agent at an equipment rental store, a DJ, an insurance company worker, a 'research assistant' at a democratic political consulting shop, a mortgage industry lackey, and now again an insurance company worker, and a Green Party political hack.

Most of these jobs have involved a lot of time spent on the phone. As a result, I really hate talking on the phone. A lot. With a passion. Why? Let me tell you what my working experience has taught me about phone calls. 

There are 3 basic types of business phone calls:

1. "Target of Opportunity": This type of call involves getting blamed and yelled at for the mistake of someone else. Typically, customer service reps get a lot of these calls. "On behalf of PoopCo, I would like to apologize that we sent you a giant bag of flaming poop in error, Mr. Smith. Kindly screech obscenities and make snide comments to me until you feel better. That's a good psychopath, let it all out. I have no feelings or self-esteem, so please, just abuse the crap out of me. Thank you and have a nice day!"

2. "Hello, is this MENSA?": This type of call involves being asked a question either far more complicated than you could possibly answer, or, being asked a question that your boss refuses to give you the information to answer without sounding like a complete poop-tard. Me "Thank you for calling Acme insurance company." Caller: "Um, yeah, I heard that mortgage bonds are bad and stinky. Do you have those in your investment portfolio? If so, how many, what's your risk exposure, are they collateralized debt obligations, or real estate investment trusts, what's the maturity date, have you purchased default insurance.....?" 

3. "I got warrants.": This type of call (my personal favorite) generally involves being asked to do something that is at best, completely unethical, and probably a felony. Caller: "Um, yeah.....could you just sign the client's name for me on the contract application that's passed through multiple jurisdictions and crossed state lines?" -  Me: "gosh, let me find a pen, and some soap on a rope!"

So if you call me, and it goes to voicemail, don't take it personally. And if you do, trust me, I am caring as hard as I can about that, I really am.

But not really.

----

Daryl Northrop

Chief Angrist at Angry Daryl Is Angry

This is a blog about why I am angry....

My amigos Ted and Beth came up with the genius suggestion that I start a blog about why I am angry. SO I DID! DON'T LIKE IT? THEN SUCK IT!