You dear readers, you've been to traffic school (I assume?) and know that when the lights are all flashing red it's like you're at a 4 way stop (hehehe four way). Everybody takes turns depending on who got to the intersection first. If there's a tie, it's the person on the right. Duh.
Except these are DC drivers. And some trucks. So they just all sort of pile into the intersection at once if they hadn't decided to just fucking stop there and stare at the flashing red light like a primitive cave man looking at an iPad for the first time. "Shit, Marge, now what?"
So then you have people half-jolting into the intersection, and then a truck decides it's his turn, and then some asshole in a beat-up minivan lurches through and then it's my turn but a dickwad in a ServPro truck decides to just gun it because he has important shit to do, and on and on. Plus it's raining.
And as you know, rain makes everybody in DC just a little bit slower in the brain for no reason.