Last Wednesday, my illustrious co-blogger, Ted, she-mailed me and asked if April and I wanted to join him and Ian at the Nat's game. DISCLAIMER - Ted and Ian are not a couple. Ted is not into guys. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Plus, Ian's rather handsome. Ahem.
Anyway, we sit down in our very nice seats, provided by the internet/TV/Web/factory of liberalism, and as the crowd fills in around us, I notice a man and a woman talking in the seats behind us. It soon becomes clear that they are on a date. A first date.
The horror. From their conversation, re-imagined below for you amusement, I envisioned that they looked something like this.
Or maybe this:
Ok, I may be getting a bit carried away. But, they yammered through most of the baseball game, and dammit if they weren't just perfect for each other!!! And by "perfect" I mean "mind-numbingly vapid and shallow." Below is an ever-so-fictionalized example of their conversation.
Him "I like listening to music when I work out. Do you like the musics?"
Her "Um, gosh, yes, I sure do like the music sounds. It comes out of my ipod thingy."
Him "Cool. Hey, do you know what else I like?"
Him "Air. I love air. Do you like air? And do you use it to breathe?"
So, ladies, gentlemen, and zombies, I know that first dates are a necessary evil (like proctologists, but not as fun). But really, please don't inflict them on the rest of us.